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Online dating: Not interested? Please, just say so! 

Clock  Mar 23, 2021       Clock  0 Comments

By Tiffany Villaluz 

Online dating has forever changed the way in which we meet people. Throw a pandemic into the mix and everything is suddenly even more complicated.

Whilst it opens up the opportunity to meet more people in a shorter amount of time than you would in real life, the fact still remains that meeting “the one” can be tough, scary and amazingly exciting all at the same time.

If you’re a Date My Friend Australia member we know you’re serious about finding THE actual, right, ONE but sometimes, just as in real life, things just don’t work out.

So, you become faced with the problem of how to let the other person know you’re not interested.

Should the same rules for letting someone down you’ve met online apply to someone you’ve met offline?

 Absolutely, yes. And it shouldn’t have to be complicated or difficult, but it should always be kind.

Of course, it’s easy to just stop responding. Don’t reply to your messages, emails or phone calls. You might even simply disappear. Block that other person on social media, from your phone contacts or you could even leave the country. OK, you’re not going to leave the country, (apparently travelling during a pandemic is a bad idea), and yes, that’s an extreme example. However, the point is that should you effectively disappear from someone’s life just like that, you may have well as left the country. Yes, we get it, it’s an easy way out, but it’s not cool!

Has ghosting someone become the new online dating normal? We certainly hope not. If not, what are the rules? Is there a protocol? Of course, there is, just be kind. Treat others as you would like to be treated, it shouldn’t have to be complicated or difficult.

How? Here are some pointers.

  • Keep it short, especially if you’ve only had one or two dates. If it’s still early days, and you don’t feel comfortable saying anything on the phone, it’s OK to send a text that says something like “I think you’re fantastic, but I don’t think we’re a good match” or “I had fun going out with you, but I don’t think we really clicked”.
  • Don’t make up stories! Don’t say you’ve met someone else if you haven’t and don’t go into unnecessary detail. Giving someone a list of why you don’t think you’re a good match just makes things harder on both of you.
  • Do not vanish. Totally ignoring someone is not only hurtful and damaging to the other persons self-confidence, it makes it hard for them to understand what went wrong.

We all know that there’s nothing easy about telling someone you’re not interested in them romantically, but even a short, straight to the point message is better than nothing at all.

For other online hints and tips check out our other blog posts and just remember, keep it simple, show some common courtesy and above all just be kind.

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