Oct 25, 2019 0 Comments
By Tiffany Villaluz
No, we don’t condone stalking anyone, but let’s face it, if you’re set to go on a first date with someone in 2019, it’s likely you’ll be tempted into doing a little “light research” online.
Your research might start with an innocent Google of the person, but let’s be serious, with the likes of Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram (did I miss any?) available, it’s possible (ok, probable), that you’ll keep looking until you find what you’re after.
What exactly are you looking for though?
Here’s what we think forms the O.K. type of “light research” VS getting caught out looking like an actual, crazy stalker and why you just shouldn’t look too hard.
So, you Google the person’s name – what do you find? Links to their social media profiles and zero criminal history – check – done.
So, you keep looking… (mind you, while you’re looking them up, they’re most likely looking you up too… just saying!).
You then check out their Instagram and Facebook accounts – are they a party boy/girl? Do they have an active social life? Is it too social or not social enough for your liking? The questions are endless…
Our major piece of advice here is don’t judge a book by its cover, because really, that’s all social media is. Definitely, don’t scroll back to 2016! People change, and it’s very easy to view things you might find online in a negative light.
Looking too far back for information could easily work against you. It’s hard work pretending you don’t know anything about a person while they’re telling you about themselves, because you’ve already made assumptions about them before you even met them.
What if you find stuff you think you don’t like and decide that what you’ve discovered are reason enough to cancel the date? You could actually miss out on meeting someone you may have really clicked with (in real life, not just on your screen!).
Apart from everything we’ve mentioned above, looking in too deep is fraught with danger!! Here’s another scenario – what if you accidentally start talking about something you saw on their Facebook page mid-date? It’s hard to back out of that type of awkward…
Diving into someone’s digital world can have its positives – not many though! So that’s why we recommend only having a quick peek! Get a sense of the person’s style, and where they like to hang out and you may get a glimpse into the kind of person you’re going out with. That’s it! Shut your laptop/phone/tablet now!
Finally, remember that what you see isn’t necessarily what you’re going to get. People generally, create their social media profiles with purpose. They want to portray a certain image of themselves to others. So, the only real way to get to know someone is to go on that first date, hang out with them and decide for yourself if they’re the one for you or not.