Aug 02, 2019 0 Comments
By Tiffany Villaluz
Photo: Courtesy of Shutterstock
Always the contentious issue when it comes to going on a first date. The questions are already circulating in your head before you’ve even started getting ready to go on your date with a person you find attractive enough to go on a first date with in the first place!
When it comes to matters of opinion, we ask our friends what they think, right?
So, that’s what I did – I asked my friends what they thought about sex on a first date and the resounding response was “It Depends”!
But what does it “depend” on?
OK, first things first and let’s just get this out of the way!
The thing is people want to have sex.
Any two people interested in one another will go through all the motions and emotions, so to speak… they will do all the texting, flirting and chatting in an attempt to impress each other.
Then comes the first date. In my opinion (and experience) both people will be thinking about sex… will there be? Won’t there be? and then, the fear sets in and it’s terrifying! (you laugh because you know it’s true)!!
Whilst being as present and attentive on your actual date as you possibly can be, the fear of what will happen after the date is on both parties minds. The. Whole. Time.
If anyone cares to disagree with me, please leave a comment because I’d love to know!
I digress…yes, that’s right, I was talking about the fear and terror and all the internal talk going on inside your head for most of (the entire) date. You’re gazing at your date across the dinner table, all the while wondering…
Do they like me?
Do they think I’m a player?
Will I be labelled a jerk if I try something?
Will he think I’m too easy? This one is a classic for heterosexual couples, the female is always wondering, “if I sleep with him straight away, will he ever call me again?”
So many questions!
The answer is – there is no answer! There’s no right or wrong (what a relief hey!) Glad I could clear that up for you all 😊
Seriously though, the thing is, if you like someone and find them attractive then why wouldn’t you? A wise friend of mine told me that she knows within the first ten minutes of a first date whether she will have sex with the other person afterwards.
How does she know in the first ten minutes? (these are her exact words by the way) … “If they’re not a jerk, then why not? it all depends on what you both want”
So, to that my friend, I say, I think you nailed it (pun intended!).
And research done by an Israel-based team of psychologists has found that having sex early can encourage a proper attachment, leading to a solid relationship!
As two consenting adults out on a first date, because you find each other attractive or funny or witty or just fun to be around, the best thing to do is stop stressing! Relax and have fun and don’t let the fear and terror of what might or might not happen stop you from enjoying your date. Tomorrow is another day…