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Yes, online dating can work for you! 


Clock  Nov 27, 2018       Clock  0 Comments


By Melissa Ferrari  

Remember when life was simple and when you wanted to meet someone you headed out with friends to the local bar, club or disco.

If you did meet someone you then got a genuine sneak peek into what type of person they were by focusing as much on their eyes as their words to see if they were being genuine.

We all had great inbuilt ‘lie detector’ back in those days, or at least we thought we did.

In today’s era of ‘swipe’ right discovering what is genuine, and what is not, is no longer as simple as a long stare into someone eyes, with people using our search for love to pursue a less than genuine agenda.

We now live in a dating world were we have to be careful and aware of ‘catfishing’, ‘kittenfishing’, ‘breadcrumbing’ and the ‘scammers’.

  If only ‘kittenfishing’ was this cute in real life                     

Between the fake profiles, the liars, exaggerators, deliberate heart breakers and the crooks, you may well ask yourself, why am I doing this?

Well here is the truth, there are many more genuine people out there who like you are desperate to find love, and they far exceed the trolls and the deceivers that you may run into.

The first step is keep yourself safe and apply the rule that if someone that you meet online seems to be ‘too good to be true’, well remember the old days and hit them with some straight talk.

If you feel conflicted then involve people who have your back and remember to take their advice, as those that love may be able to see a little clearer than you and help protect from someone who may be seeking to take advantage of you.

 

 

It’s always best to get a second opinion

Speaking of friends, this support is why we are seeing the rise in popularity of sites such as ‘Date My Friend’ with the surety of a referral from someone who knows, which does take us back to those old days of how dating once worked.

When it comes to your own profile, try and avoid ‘gilding the lily’ as tempting as it is to over inflate who we are and we do, think of how you would feel if the person you were meeting was not quite what you were expecting.

The golden rule, have fun but keep it real.

Speaking of finding love, when we think we have found ‘the one’ this can set off our nervous system into overdrive, creating a powerful rush of neuro-chemicals and hormones which run through our body.

This ‘love feeling’ is euphoric, which is why we can be so vulnerable to those without the best of intent.

So how do we put the emotion aside and protect ourselves from making poor choices, whilst still ensuring that we are giving ourselves the best chance to find the love…

  1. Keep it real

Even if you are getting the ‘gushing’ feeling, the one when you want to scream to the world “I have found the love of my life”…  Well take a deep breath, do not release too much personal information and ask lots of questions. This will help you to discover whether this a genuine connection.

  1. Get a second opinion

When the ‘love drugs’ are running through our system we are not exactly the best judge of character, because we so desperately want it to be real. So before you start planning your wedding and honeymoon, why not run one last check from a close friend or family member who may pick up on some ‘red flags.’

  1. Use your smarts

Searching for love online is not easy and will require your “smarts” to navigate. So make sure you are in control and not getting carried away on someone else’s fantasy. Ask yourself some really important questions, such as; How interested is this person in me? Does this feel right? Do I have doubts? Am I developing trust? How you answer these questions will tell you all you need to know.

  1. Get offline

Having now found someone you would like to get to know, well get to know them. No, not by sending continuous messaging backwards and forwards. Get out into the fresh air and meet them in person. The sooner you do, then the sooner you can look to form a real connection.

  1. The eyes have it

Use your eyes and really look at this person, not in a strange unblinking way that has them pressing help on their phone, see them with your inbuilt ‘lie detectors’ and search their eyes, face, smile, posture. The way we used to when we met people before ‘Apps’, as we did back in the day, you will quickly know if this person is right for you.

The most important thing is enjoy your time searching for love, keep it fun, be safe and good luck in finding that love of your life.

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