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What’s wrong with today’s dating scene? 

Clock  Jun 07, 2018       Clock  0 Comments

By Tiffany Villaluz 

So what is wrong with today’s dating scene? Unfortunately, A LOT!

I’m actually amazed that men and women manage to start a relationship these days. Yes, we are very different species, but we do have unrealistic expectations. Social media and the access we have to the rest of the world means we are constantly exposed to body beautiful and the perfect image. This results in subconsciously thinking that’s what we want and can find. So, what are our expectations?

I want to challenge your thinking here and I am going to be a bit brutal.

What men think they want:

•  Women with the beautiful bodies and faces
•  Women who are consistently immaculate in their appearance
•  The woman who is independent and strong (but then men are threatened/ intimidated by it)
•  The woman that puts him on a pedestal – we are not in the dark ages fellas
•  Women that can do it all – have the career, the family, is always loving and affectionate, and puts all the effort into the relationship

What women think they want:

•  The man with the car, the house and the good paying job – god forbid if he’s chosen to take a different path and has nothing to show for his existence other than life experience (and quite often is a better person because of it)
•  The man who looks after himself, wears the good clothes and goes to the gym
•  The romantic man who is thoughtful, considerate and regularly surprises them with romantic gestures
•  The man who puts them first at all times
•  The man in touch with their feminine side and gets on with all their friends

So, what’s wrong with that I hear you say? OUR EXPECTATIONS ARE TOO HIGH. We are looking for perfect and perfect doesn’t exist. If we have a good look at ourselves, do we think we are perfect? If your answer is no, why are we looking for perfect?

Online dating is now becoming more ‘the norm’ when looking for a partner.

But here are some of the common ‘cons’ with online dating:

•  Photos aren’t always a true reflection of what someone looks like
•  We look at a photo and make a split decision based on that photo as to whether we are interested or not (how quick are you to swipe left or right?)
•  Generally people aren’t honest about who they are when they write their profile. Let’s be real, you are competing with the next profile so you have to look and sound better to attract attention right?
•  People generally don’t know how to write a profile and sell themselves so how do they make themselves appealing?
•  After the first date we make up our minds. Is this fair?
•  There’s a lot of rubbish on dating sites with non-genuine individuals just looking for a good time and nothing serious

At the end of the day we all want to meet that special person so how do we do it? Be open minded and not too quick to ‘judge a book by its cover’. Don’t have unrealistic expectations and be superficial in what you think you are looking for.

Look for the dating sites that have a different approach and more likely to attract genuine people. Then ask yourself, what is your absolute must in a partner and what can you work with?

I am a perfect example of what expectations I initially had and what I actually ended up with. If I had stuck to my original requirements, I wouldn’t now be happily married, have my best friend by my side, and a wonderful life created together.

Food for thought?

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